The modern age brings comfort to our lives that our predecessors weren’t lucky enough to enjoy. We’re cushioned from the myriad of tragedies that happen daily in certain parts of the world and shielded from the pain, sorrow, and misery that afflicts them. Yet, instead of counting our blessings and being grateful for our circumstances, we tend to take that for granted. Not only that, we want more. More security, material possessions, money, status, and desires.
In today’s article, we want to suggest you a few tips that could help you see your tendencies and to find new prospects.
1. The More We Search for Security, the More Insecure We Are
According to the philosopher Alan Watts, the more we search for comfort and security, the more we remind ourselves that we lack them. The more we seek certainty, the more we feel uncertain. The more we want to shield ourselves from insecurity, the more we feel insecure. The more we desire money and status, the more we feel like we’re poor and on the lower rung of society.
It’s not an issue that we want those things. The problem is that we feel anxious in the process of chasing them. We tense up and enter a fight-or-flight state in which we tell ourselves that we must get those things no matter what.
Throughout our lives, we’re constantly trying to find ways to shed our insecurities. For some people, that’s a necessity. But for many others, it’s a goose chase. You see, the more you try to escape insecurity, the more you invite it into your fold. When you isolate yourself from others for fear that relationships can negatively affect you, you’re depleting yourself of the opportunity to grow, hear other people’s ideas and opinions, and even question your outlook on life and how you live it.
Or, when you’re slaving away at the desk 60+ hours a week, with the excuse that you’re earning more money, achieving a higher status, or working for that coveted promotion.
But you’re doing that at the expense of your energy and time that you could spend pursuing hobbies, personal interests, or spending time with family and friends. Activities that provide you with life energy instead of depleting it.
We’re never guaranteed security. Today is all we have, so why go through life without enjoying it to the fullest?
2. Define your core values and ideals
Do you know the difference between values and ideals? Values already define you. Ideals are what you strive for and wish to be.
Values are more internal, personal measures. Ideals tend to be external values you envision for society.
So many of us struggle to find our meaning, purpose, and anchor in life. The solution? Uncovering the three to five core values and ideals that make you tick. This might seem easier said than done, but it could be tricky.
Try to ask yourself these questions:
- What would you take a stand for?
- What makes you mad and why is that?
- What are the peak moments of your life until today?
- What are the common threads between these moments or experiences?
In a general sense, we can identify some personal values that people consider most important in their lives. For example love, justice, family, fairness, honesty, transparency, competence, enthusiasm, humor, and respect. These are, of course, just a few examples; each of us may have more specific ones as well, and they may be different depending on our private or work, or professional life sphere.
An ideal acts both as an introjection of a model, which becomes part of personal identity, and as an imitation of it, to which to conform one’s conduct. For example, I would like to live in a world where there is no war, which is an ideal that so far is only possible in the mind of the individual.
Once you define your values, you can look at your behavior and notice [if] your value is in alignment with your behavior. If there’s a disconnect, you now have a starting point of where to remedy as opposed to feeling lost and stuck.
When you bring your values and goals into alignment you feel a wonderful sense of calmness, confidence, and personal power.
Take some time to be clear about your values and ideals. Make sure that everything you do in your outer world is in harmony with what you believe to be right and good in your inner world.
3. Let beliefs lead to passions
Once you’ve defined your core principles, you can follow that path to finding things you’re passionate about—in turn, filling your days with what you enjoy. When we do the things we’re passionate about, we can wake up looking forward to the day.
4. We are constantly looking for the future happiness
Ambitions and aspirations… seem to never materialize, don’t they? The perfect partner, the million-dollar idea, the promotion that could arrive any day: they’re all ideas that we keep in our mind to prevent us from feeling the pain we’ll feel if those moments don’t arrive. Clinging to future expectations and desires only prevents us from enjoying our life.
Instead of thinking about what good (or bad) things await us in the future, it’s infinitely better to focus on what good things we have at the moment. You can be grateful for your family and your loving and supporting friends, or your health is in check, and you can provide for yourself.
There are countless moments around you that you can appreciate, small or big. A fuller life doesn’t necessarily mean being happy all the time—rather, it’s about being in touch with your inner self and deciding what you need at that moment.
5. Strengthen your inner circle
Adding more fulfillment to your life might also mean seeking out connections with those around you. Finding your people, the ones who cheer you on and lift you up on a soul level is life’s work. Your community is going to be one of the biggest factors to propel you and your dreams forward—or hold you back. Surround yourself with the people and energies that bring you growth, safety, pure joy, and peace.
Conclusions
It always starts with awareness. Simply being aware of the feelings and thoughts that arise when you yearn for security is the first step toward escaping its clutches. Then, you can let go and let life unfold before you. You’ll find that insecurity won’t destroy you. It liberates you.
Stop overthinking everything and take each day as it comes.
Give your best every day to be present with yourself and others.
You may sometimes falter but keeping this in mind is essential.
Perfection is the enemy of progress.
